I do not have any more news about Georgia. We are still waiting for news, really any news from the orphanage, the cardiologist, about our paperwork...there are still moments of deep anxiety for me and I would love to be leaving tomorrow to go and get Georgia, but I do feel like the Lord is teaching me during this time.
I have been thinking and praying alot about what it means to thrive versus barely making it. I am learning that when I start to worry and turn over and over in my head the possibilities of what could be happening with Georgia, I have a choice. The possibilities do not change and the severity of the journey we are on is the same but there IS something that I can change. I can choose where I dwell.
I can stay in my tiny little spot of worry, bound up in fear of the unknown (it is funny but that little spot can be so tempting and seem so familiar) or I can start to look up and around. I have found, when I begin to worry that I can start to thank God for all that He IS doing and how He IS taking care of me and my family and all of a sudden I begin to find a bit of peace. The circumstances do not change but how I see them becomes tinted with Peace. As I continue, I literally feel saturated with Peace.
There is a Scripture that I have been coming back to over and over this week. It is this:
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Let your gentleness be evident to all.
The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the Peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
There is really something to this! It honestly has brought so much freedom to me. When I think about it I picture myself sitting in the middle of a big, dark, shed-like room. A room where the darkness is absolutely oppressive. As I begin to thank God for Georgia, for the way He is looking after her, for those He has caring for her, literally anything and everything I can think of...it is like little tiny holes break in the roof of that shed until sunlight is streaming down and the darkeness dissapates.
I choose where I dwell....my circumstances do not dictate it. I am not trying to say that I have some magical power, what I am trying to ssay is that the Lord meets me in the midst of the darkness. It is He who makes it go away. Where I want to be is wher He dwells.