Doors Thrown Open So Wide

      This adoption has been so different, like a glorious sunny day after a storm.

 We talked and prayed for a few days and just felt an overwhelming peace about bringing this little boy into our family

. Everything changed with seeing his picture and yet it just felt so calm and so right.

 

    On a blustery March day, Doug and I took a hike far above the Columbia River.

Standing there, raindrops beginning to fall I was looking out in the distance and praying

. Doug turned, asking, "What's on your mind?"

  "Well, what are we going to do about this little guy?"

 

  We chatted down the trail to the car, about diapers, preschool and toddler joys.

 "It just feels so right" crossed our lips with such ease.

 The normal list of fears, about another mouth to feed, another child to fit in, how old we would be...they just were not there.

 Only peace radiated deep, sweet.

 We parked back at home rain soaking down, Doug faced me,

 "I just keep thinking, 'why wouldn't we?' God is so clear about caring for orphans and he has placed him right in our path...why wouldn't we?"

 

     With tears on our cheeks we agreed, this little boy was our son.

 God had thrown the doors open so wide.

Foreheads together we wept and prayed for our son, our son, our little boy....

3 Amazing Years!!!!!

I woke up this morning to a bright eyed little girl crawling up in my bed for snuggles....

I cannot think of a better way to celebrate than lots of hugs and cuddles.

Holding her close,

celebrating 3 years of being in each others arms.

This little girlie that only a miracle saved,

she is a such a reminder to soak up everyday...

God blessed us far more than we could ever deserve when He kept her safe and moved mountains to get us to her in time!

Oh Georgia Mei..words honestly fail for what a gift you are to us...

So I'll borrow yours that you shower us with tons of times a day,

"I love you past the moon, past everything...except for God!"

The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

Chinese Culture Camp!

We got to go to Chinese Culture Camp last weekend....

and it was SO much fun!

There were over 100 children adopted from China

traditional Lion dancers

which the kids really loved!

Then there were the friendships....

This is a good portrait of the weekend. Ravenna arm & arm with new buddies.

She was SO alive.

As was Miss Georgia (Parker too!)

 They got to dress up in their Chinese silk clothes...

I made them each a necklace, when  they combine them it makes a dragon...so now they run around as the "dragon team"

Man I love these kids!

An incredible time was had by all!

We are off to a family reunion but I will post when I can!



It's the first one ever Mama...

  A moment came today that absolutely took my breath away. I want to write it down and never forget it. Our Ravenna is a deep kid with a deep and co,mpassionate heart. She deeply processes her adoption often. At age four she wept in my arms at the thought of not knowing her birthmom's name, she asks often about the babys still waiting, about the "why" of her adoption...
   So, when an assignement came home asking for baby pictures my stomach did a flip-flop. Oh I wanted to protect her from what might be coming. I asked her what picture she wanted and she said, "The youngest Mama!"...but we don't have baby-baby pictures, only her referral pictures. She has those framed by her bed and when I reminded her that those were the youngest she went and grabbed them. She then lined them up on the table and asked, "Why do I look so scared Mama?"
   Oh my heart, how I wished I had more or better answers! Oh how I began to pray and pray as I said, "well, it might be the first time you had seen a camera" all the while thinking of the hundreds of pictures we took of even Parker's very first day. Then she said, "Why am I sitting in that wierd chair in the street?" "Who took that pictures anyways?" "Why are there a bunch of grapes in my lap?" "Where were you Mama?" it all just bubbled out until the final question, "Where was my birthmom?"

    I took a deep breathe and began to explain that we had not met yet, that she was in foster care, that some chairs look different in China, that she had on split pants so they put plastic grapes in her lap...and that her birthmom was not with her while she was in foster care.
   Then she was distracted as neighbors came in to play and I turned my back to let my tears fall unseen. Oh how I would give anything to have answers, to take away the pain, to have a book full of pictures starting from the very day she was born. Oh how I wish I could change the path that she must walk and that finding a baby picture for a school project could just be a simple and fun thing for her....but that is not our story, it is not her story. Hers is a story that is painful and beautiful all in it's own right and it is a story that she needs to reach deep into sometimes and I get the honor of walking alongside her.
   So one of the things that we have let Ravenna lead in is kissing. I know that may sounds very strange but for some reason she has never been comfortable with kissing us on the lips. It has never happened actually. She has never initiated giving Doug or I a kiss on the lips and usually will turn her head so that we get her cheek. She goes as far as covering up my mouth and then kissing my cheek. So, we have let that roll and I have just sat back and prayed. Yes, I have prayed that the Lord would break down whatever walls are there that prevent her from feeling safe enough, that the Lord would re-train the pathways of her brain where the 'fight or flight' response has taken up camp where her needs were not met as an infant....and now I have to tell you the rest of the story!
    I asked if I could be in the classroom today for the baby picture unveiling, just as moral support for Ravenna. I was hoping it would just be a fun activity but also wanted to be there in case it brought up anything funky for Ravenna. So there we were, baby pictures on the wall, kids guessing, kids drawing pictures of their families, all having so much fun...Ravenna included. As I stood there watching her color, kids whirling all around, she looked up at me very intentionally. She then came close and in front of her class put a hand on each of my cheeks and pulled me close to give me a tender little kiss right on my lips. She then pulled back, eyes sparkling and whispered, "It's the first one ever Mama..." and all I could do was pull her into my arms and whisper through my tears, "That was the best gift ever!"
   God heals, He redeems...he can revive and change even the tiniest things in our lives...oh how He cares for us!

“I will redeem the years the locusts have eaten"

Joel 2:25

7 years ago today....

Our lives changed radically for the better....

Out of a journey that was long and winding,

God brought joy deeper than we had ever imagined.

Our hearts were forever transformed by the gift of one little girl

I am in awe that we get to be Ravenna's parents

Because it is she who in every way has taught us...

That love has no limits

She has filled our life with joy

and giggles

and just a wee bit of sauciness...

She has again and again pulled our comfortable hearts closer to God with her compassion for the hurting

and that true joy comes in giving your heart away.

Miss Ravenna Lin Ping I love you more than words can ever say with all of my heart.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

You were worth the step of faith eight million times over!

Playin Adoption!

These are "official" Chinese documents...

So today after school Ravenna and her friend went off to play while I cuddled with Georgia. Pretty soon they came back and in a gentle voice Ravenna asked, "Little girl do you want to be adopted?"

At first Georgia said, "No"

Ravenna said, "That's alright...first I need to do paperwork anyways..."

I wasn't sure what would happen next but she scurried off,

and brought back this....

She put it in my 'mailbox'

Can you read it?

It says,

"Ravenna to Shanine adoption when?"

Then she said, "Wait, I have more paperwork to do!"

and came back with this...

Again in my 'mailbox'

It says,

"I am going to tace care of her I am good from Ravenna"

and once again she ran off to do more 'paperwork'

and came back with this!!!!!

She keeps bringing back her 'children' (yes she went through the adoption process twice) to show me what a good job she is doing taking care of them.

Here's the proud Mama and her babies...

Man I love these girlies!

**** She just came in to tell me the 'story of how she got her children****

It goes like this...

"God blest me with grate childrin. and he blest me by leting you...

"...give me my childrin. He maed me blest whith..."

"...them. God is graet and he is asume. I love him."

"He is the best God ever! I like him he is fun!"

speechless...

2 Years Ago Today...

         The Grandmas and I stepped into a gutted, dark building in China with wires hanging from the ceiling and water puddling on the floor to meet one of the greatest gifts in my whole life. Miss Georgia Mei.

The building

Our bright eyed and very frail little girl...

First kiss! How I had longed to know the feel of kissing her sweet head... 

and begged that God would keep her heart healthy enough to get her home

 My 17 pound almost 2 year old darling...

So much joy and loss all jumbled together

Holding my baby girl for the first time...

Falling asleep in my arms after meeting Doug over Skype

It was a journey that changed everything and my heart will never be the same...

God is so faithful and so deeply good,

Far beyond anything I ever dreamed...

Is God calling you to risk in some way? Whispering to your heart? Run, jump, leap at the chance because He will catch you every time. He longs to show us more of His heart and life will be fuller, richer, deeper than you could ever imagine.

 I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10

What I wish they could see...

  The moment that I was handed Georgia in a falling down building in China, her nanny ran down the hallway sobbing. You could tell by her every touch, look and interaction that she loved Georgia beyond words. They told me that she had been Georgia's main nanny who carried her everywhere whenever she was there. The others that were there radiated love too. They all stayed the night in the hotel just to make sure that she was ok even though their home was only a few hours drive. We had an opportunity to make contact with them, to send some clothes and they said more than things they just wanted to know that Georgia was ok and to tell her they loved her.

As I sat in our garage this morning, my heart swelling as Georgia rode her big girl bike around and around saying, "watch me, watch me Mama!"

I kept thinking of them.

and all that I wish they could see...

Ravenna cheering her on saying, "ladies and gentlemen! It's Georgia the most amazing toddler in the West!"

I wish that I could tell them...

that I know they did not have much in the way of material things there...

but the love that they poured in,

what they started...

has blossomed into full blown beautiful joy

I wish they could hear her giggle that comes so easily...

and the mischief that sparkles in her eyes

There is just so much more to the story and I ache to tell it all, for them to somehow be here and see all that God has done...

to know the way she holds onto me tightly at bedtime and whispers, "My Mama"

how she beams and wiggles and jumps and yells "Dadddeeeeee!" when Doug comes home,

The way she wants to lay her head 'just so' as she goes to sleep...

so she can watch her big sister sleeping...

and how the first things she asks about, giant smile on her face, is to go and see her brother.

because they only got to see the beginning,

the frail blue child on the doorstep,

pouring in love as they watched her get weaker,

hoping it was enough,

and now she her face beams proudly as her little legs pump,

giant helmet on her head,

shouting

"You watch Mama, Watch Me!!!!"