This journey is like none other that I have ever been on. Some days are easy, filled with anticipation, packing, looking at little girl clothes and dreaming of who Georgia will be. And some days are so just so hard....it feels like every breath is weighed down by the grief of knowing that we still have so far to go, and that I can do nothing to make it go faster. Literally , her life hangs in the balance. She needs her open heart surgery now. So, today is one of "those days".
Amazingly, both kids are happily at their amazing preschool together (a first) celebrating "donuts with Dad" and I get a few minutes at home. What I want to do more than anything is to crawl under the covers and have one big pity party. You see today is day 70 of waiting for our LOA. The "normal" range of waiting is 50-70 days. I feel sad, bone tired from waiting, like I cannot make it one more day of this journey.
Instead of wallowing I want to list out some of the scriptures that have been my rock lately. I know that I am not the only one in this boat and maybe in claiming these here it will help me and others. Feel free to join in with me in the comments!
Psalm 34:7-10
(NIV)
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
Here it is in The Message as well
God's angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray.
Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him.
Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all his goodness.
Young lions on the prowl get hungry,
but God-seekers are full of God.
Ephesians 3:14-21 (New International Version)
For this reason I kneel before the Father,
from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power
through his Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the saints,
to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Matthew 11:28 NIV
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 12:20 NIV
"A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he leads justice to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope."
These are where I am determined to place my hope!
Hands and house
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10 comments:
Hi Shannon,
Been thinking about you every day wondering if this will be the one where you hear something. We can't know just how hard it is, but please know that we're praying for all of you and definitely for Georgia!
Hi Shannon,
I have been having one of those days too. I have been doing so good since March, but in the last few days my patience meter has RUN OUT! I check my email at least every hour, I check my phone throughout the day, and I check your blog hoping you have your LOA! Georgia needs to get here for her surgery. Sophie just needs to get home so I can feed her. She only gets 2-2.5 oz every 3 hours or so plus her rice. I keep praying she gets enough to nourish her brain so that it can keep developing normally. The phrase "for those who wait, a moment seems like an eternity" keeps coming to my mind. Right now the only good thing about this waiting that comes to my mind is that our joy is going to be SO very sweet when we do get to meet our daughters. Mason (age 4) asked me some cute question after prayer about "is Georgia our sister too?" I can't wait to introduce our little girls to their sweet siblings who are prayiing so faithfully for them to come home. Mason waits in complete and total faith in his Heavenly Father. He knows that He is going to bring Sophie home. That is something that I am in awe in. The faith of a little child is so pure. It helps me get through the days like today. We are thinking of you and praying for Georgia and your family.
Love,
Staci
Isaiah 43:5
"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west".
Oh the waiting is so hard...I remember being right where you are.
Praying you get that LOA soon because Georgia needs to meet her mama and I need to see her pictures on this blog :)
Erica
Oh my Shannon,
How I long for you to hold your little girl, I pray every day for her and you to keep your guys strength she is coming every day you get closer and closer I know some times its hard to see it that way and its easy to dwell on the cup bing half empty and worrying if it will ever get filled up instead of seeing it as half full and realizing that every day God is putting in another drop of water for you. I imagine God has a big calender titled Shannon's life and on it he has Georgians coming home day circled in Red and he is crossing of each day as it gets closer I know shes coming soon. Ill keep praying for you.
with so much love
Jessica
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
My hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend
on God,
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8
Praying for you.
In Him,
Kathy
Today I met the most stunning young man. He was one of our "crisis" clients. His house was in shambles and the stench so strong I had to keep from gagging. His presence was gruff and uninviting and my inner dialogue was not one of kindness or curiosity about his life, his story, but instead my desire to get my job duties "over with."
How delighted, surprised, and in AWE I was as I heard him speak about his desire to be a good student, his diligence to get back to school (suspended for telling off an administrator), and his gratitude for what he considers "heaven." Heaven is living in the cliche "white trash" trailor. Heaven is this makeshift family he belongs to because his biological one was shattered to drugs and homelessness.
I say all this in response to your day 70 because it also feels like my day 70...I feel like I cannot wait any longer. Somehow, in the presence of this awkward teenager I was reminded that God is good and provides, even when provision doesn't fit what culture tells us is provision. Provision for Georgia and for you, Doug, Ravenna and Parker would assumptively look like an immediate travel letter in urgent response to a sick heart. Somehow, I believe that the wait has purpose. Most of the time the wait feels very cruel. I don't understand provision, but I believe in it none the less. May tomorrow, when you awake on day 72, provide you with TRUTH about the goodness of our God, who, "thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans God took such delight in making. God set it all out before us in Christ, a long range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth." - Ephesians 1 (the Message).
I hit a wall at day 70 too. We waited 80 days and the average wait at that time was 50-60 days. It was hard. Praying friend.
I had my own pity party back sometime in May. I totally understand how you feel. We are on day 93ish waiting for RA. Anytime I see the PA, RA or TA announcement emails thru our YG, I ask my husband if he talked w/the agency today. Like he would forget to tell me!! But I still ask!
We will enter the 100 day club next Saturday (I think). I'm really trying not to think about how long we have been waiting. But it creeps back around bedtime. We placed an orphanage call last week. We received new pictures which really helped. But I still long to hold her.
Ok--sorry for rambling. Please email me if you need anything.
Shannon,
My heart aches for you and for Georgia...God knows what you and she and her dear little heart can take. We don't know the reason why it is taking so long...all I know is when I can't take it any longer, God steps in. He did it on this trip multiple times. Praying for you, for stamina, but also for a divine "step in" when your stamina runs out. Surely it will be soon, and until then, He is the one who keeps that heart beating.
Love and hugs,
Ann
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