Thursday, July 14, 2011
Some Answers and a Whole Lot of Questions...
Well....I'm not exactly sure what to write here. We heard from the cardiac nurse that they pulled up Georgia's monitor readings and every single one of them showed normal heart rhythms. This is SUCH great news and we want to be so happy but Doug and I are both a bit overwhelmed. See we still have a 3 year old that is complaining of chest pain, heart palpitations and weakness....and we are not sure what to make of it.
We have sent a list of questions to the Cardiologist and are waiting for his answers. She has all the symptoms of pulmonary valve failure but I am not sure if that would have showed up on the heart monitor. We know that her valve is slowly failing.
She also was very old when her heart was repaired and there could be collateral damage somewhere....but really I am not a Cardiologist so I am just guessing.
Also, it could be that the feeling of her heart racung while she is active feels similar to the beginning of a tet spell (the life threatening spells where she would turn purple before surgery). She cannot have tet spells now but it is possible that the feeling is really scaring her.
This week she and I were cuddled up in bed, just her bright brown eyes peeking out of the covers and she said,
Georgia: "Mama, big room lots of babies?"
Me: "You want to tell me something about when you were in the orphanage in China?"
Georgia: "Mama, big room lots of babies...I need Mama. I cry and cry and I need you. You not there. I miss my Mama."
...and it breaks my heart. I try not to think of it too often, my little girl so alone and so very sick, so very scared needing her Mama and having to be brave. I wihs with all my heart that I could have been there, could have held her, could have gotten her the help she needed.
So I will be there now, hold her now, keep trying to find answers now and remind her that she is loved and safe and precious beyond measure.