Tonight China feels so very far away.
It is morning in China and my little boy has probably just woken up.
My arms ache to hold him,
to feel the weight of him in my arms,
to hear what his voice sounds like
and hold his face in my hands.
Tonight fear feels dark and lurking
it could consume me if I turned and gave it any voice.
The 'what-ifs' feel so big...
yet at the same time out my window,
sunshine streams down through pouring rain
and I beg that the Lord would pour down over us,
over my boy,
and I remember the miracle,
this ache is a gift,
it rings of God's invitation,
His answer to my plea
to be poured out.
The gift of anticipation
I get to cherish another soul,
hold another life in my heart.
Even the waiting is a gift,
allowing my heart to bend and ache,
laying it before the One who will chisel it further...
one life halfway around the world
already changing mine...
Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows.
Every good and perfect gift...
and I bend low
Lord mold me,
prepare me for this...
this glorious honor of a gift.
Then I put on this song...
given to me by a dear friend.
When we first decided to adopt Zeke
I emailed this friend.
Late that night she wrote,
she had spent time in prayer over our son.
As soon as she stopped praying this song came on
and I am reminded of just how near are the arms that are holding us both...