Beautiful Brokeness

     The other night there was a worship and prayer service at our church. 

We went with ragged hearts, tears streaming down.

As the music rolled and I looked up,

five rows ahead stood a young woman that I love like a sister...

in her "Bring Home Zeke" shirt...

Through the entire service,

right before my eyes,

literally spelled out on the back of her shirt,

"Bring Home Zeke"

and I was reminded of what a beautiful and broken journey we are on.

This journey to such a little boy,

is like none I have ever been on.

It is a humbling one,

marked over and over again with others coming alongside...

cheering us on,

sharing the load.

It is a friend with 4 little babes of her own taking time to create a fundraising page for him...

One willing to make t-shirst, sell nail stuff, bags, jewelry.

Another, making a way for friends to donate toys and clothes,

to help us get the things we need.

Missionaries living on mere dollars a day,

sending part of it to pave the path for him to come home.

Literally widows...

giving.

We have children, orphans themselves down in Baja writing to tell us they are praying for us and our son.

This glorious path rolling out before on tiny boy with a broken heart...

it is one of brokeness itself,

It is not a road paved by those who are wealthy, those who have it together or can give out of their plenty...

it is a road being built by those who themselves have known deep brokness...

who have known hunger, grief, unbelievable pain.

We are being held up by those with whom we have bent low,

those we have begged God with,

 wetting each others shoulders with our tears.

Around my neck is a treasure that I revere like none other,

emblazoned with the letters of all 4 of my children,

given by a friend 

who has walked hand in hand with us through our trials and her own,

who I have held weeping in ICU rooms, grieved as attachment shows it's knarly scars

and the list goes on,

a dear young couple just about to be married,

who could pour everything into their own celebration and instead

pour some into a boy they have never met.

Children, so many children cheering us on, giving us their spending money...

spending all day singing about lemonade on the side of the road...

all for the love of a little boy.

None that has been given has been out of ease.

When God prompted and we stepped out to adopt Zeke,

it was a giant leap of faith,

one done with trembling knees,

 and so many prayers for confirmation

saying, "I just need to hear you again God"

It is the first adoption where we knew we did not have all of the money,

and were not sure how we were going to cover things.

Honestly,

it was easy to question God on that point...

and yet we knew that we were supposed to step without seeing.

How could we know?

How could we possibly see the unspeakably beautiful story God wanted to roll out instead?

There  is so much that we do not know about Zeke or his story,

but the one that God is writing now is beyond anything I could have imagined...

this boy, this story,

we are walking on holy ground.