We have been in Baja for a little over a week, life is beginning to slow down and our hearts are beginning to reflect and breathe a bit more. It was a crazy, painful couple of months before we left. We arrived more broken and in need of time to heal than ever before. As I begin to sit, pray and reflect one thing keeps bubbling to the surface...there is just so much good when you stop to look.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy....why is it so easy to lose sight of those things? We all have our differences and yet when we stop and really look, isn't there always one of those things above that we can find in our lives, in the lives of others? Yet, it is so easy to get wrapped up in what is different, frustrating, challenging.
So, I find my heart wondering....why did God so strongly command us to seek out the noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. Not only to seek them out but to fill our minds with them?
Nights have been rough down here, beyond rough with Zeke. He is having lots of belly pain due to his GI issues, these cause him to kick and cry, toss and turn every 5-10 minutes. We are beyond tired most days. Yet, all it takes is slowing down down, hold his sweet body in my arms, looking at the dimples on his little toddler hands and I melt. Having him as my son is so, so good.... beyond miraculous, me getting to be his mom.
Living in a 19 ft trailer for 6 weeks in a foreign country can be a bit challenging :) Sometimes it feels like the dishes are constant, something is always being spilled and someone always needs to know where something is....and yet, the laughter of my children, the way they embrace new kids that come, the language of serving that I hear coming out of them....is stunning. They can't wait to serve, keep dreaming of new ways to help kids down here and sometimes, not always (but sometimes) are trying to help each other.
As we were driving down this year, our oldest two kept reminiscing about years past...and I realized, 8 years of dragging them down the Baja to serve has produced fruit....this trip is becoming their own. They are dreaming and planning their own future trips with their own children, they have their own parts of this trip that they are looking forward to most...
When I sit before the Lord, with all of my pain and brokenness...and realize how crazy much I am loved, the gifts that I have been given in my life, the pain begins to ebb away, my own frustrations begin to be crowded out because there is something shouting so much louder...the true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy, it outshines the things that seem so loud when I rush through life, outshines the frustrations, the hurt, the fear....and guess what? God's promise is true:
"And the God of peace will be with you."
Oh how I need this, how I need my heart to be re-set, reminded of where to fix my eyes.