Fully Alive!!!

-****My photo editing software isn't working right so these are not edited****

     We spent a majority of our day yesterday at our little hometown fair. It started yesterday and is the last free State Fair in Washington. It is free to get in but I splurged, and got each kid a wristband letting them ride as many rides as they wanted. I have never done that before. I paid for the little bracelets and put them on thinking I had just gotten a great deal....rides all weekend long right???? Oops, come to find out they were just for the day, sooooo...we spent from noon until way past bedtime letting the kids get their fill. It turned out to be perfect because it was the first day and we were one of the only families there (yeah, the rest probably knew about the wristband thing). The kids were let right on, we were allowed to ride with them for free a bunch and they were very relaxed abuot the rules meaning Miss Georgia got to ride with the big kids (something daddy kept letting her do when I wasn't looking)!

             I just somehow want to try to capture in words the depth and richness of joy in watching our kids so fully alive. Words fail and so many images flash through my mind, but I do not want ot forget. I was one of those days that was hilarious and beautiful beyond words.
   Beautiful beyond words you may say? What could be so beautiful about Elephant Ears and rickety rides more covered in rust than carnival paint in places? Well, those things can fade away...what I want to remember is the pride in Ravenna's eyes as she rode the rollercoaster by herself the very first time. The way her little lips pursed together and her eyes shined. How halfway through the ride she kicked back, as if taking in the beauty of whirling around and around on a bright summer's day blue sky above and wind in her hair. the way my heart caught in my throat as I realized what a big girl she is and how inexpressably proud I am of who she is.

      I want to etch on my heart and my brain sitting ontop of the Ferris Wheel at sunset, just Parker and I. His blond little head resting on my arm, sparkly blue cape rustling as he chattered away. Because he was not just Parker that day. He and Ravenna were superheroes from the planet Astrid and had declared Georgia their trusty "kick-side." My heart still swells remembering him drawing a big breath of wonder and whispering, "I can see the whole world from here Mama!"

    I want to remember leaning back against my husband laughing harder than I have in a long time as the sun set and our kids all three had the time of their lives. The whole time I kept thinking, "I have such a blessed, blessed life."
     And Georgia...where do i begin? She has this essence about her that is blossoming more and more. It is a fearless confidence, a willingness or a desire to embrace everything that comes her way. Georgia's first response to almost everything is an upbeat, "Sure!" She rode this little ladybug ride probably 20 times, wide grin, her little ponytails waving wildly as she spun. Then, I took a potty break and came back to her lodged between Ravenna and Parker on the rollercoaster! Barely tall enough, only her ponytails peeking out above th seat, arms spread wide resting on the back of the seat...not even holding on as they whipped around and around !

OK...so I feel bad about the gal in the last car. I promise I will edit her out when I get a chance!

    Then, as night set in and the carnival lights began to blaze, came the icing on the cake. There was a slide, a HUGE slide. Over 25 feet tall, jutting up into the night sky. It was one of those where you slide on a rug and it has giant bumps where you actually catch air going down. At the top both Ravenna and Parker were pretty scared the first few times. Parker and Ravenna shifted back to doing it again. As they waited for their turn, Ravenna's giggles filled the air, Parker raced around in his cape and lightening bolt shirt "making energy" so he would go faster down the slide. I just stood there certain I had the greatest kids on earth.

  

 I had done it once with Georgia earlier in the day but now our little itty bitty girl walked up, grabbed one of the rugs up slide down on and headed up the stairs BY HER SELF. I am not kidding you. She marched right up these metal grating steps as confident as if she were walking up to our front door. She got to the top, had the guy lay down her rug and jumped onto it and pushed off so that she could go as fast as possible! Down she flew, her little dress flying in the air! As soon as she slowed to a stop, after being accidentally clobbered by another little girl coming down, Georgia hopped up and said, "more please!" and pulled that rug (bigger than she was) off the slide and over to the attendant so that he could roll it up and she could go again. She must have done this for at least full hour, till the sky was pitch black. Flying down the slide, hopping off. Each time saying in her little toddler voice, "More please!" and up she would go toting that giant rug up the stairs to the sky. Each time I held my breath and prayed for her protection and then in awe watched her sail down.

Can you see her way up there carrying the rug as big as she is????

   

How do I even describe how I felt? As I watched her over and over again, pictures flashed in my mind. The day we met in China, her limp head on my chest, her trying to stand back then and collapsing, the fear that I carried of her never being able to do normal kid things, her in ICU hooked up the every machine possible...and now, she was rocketing through the night sky down this giant slide little ponytails all askew, dress flapping, eyes wide with joy...fully alive. The tears come even now as I write, tears of thankfulness, tears of humility, tears of joy. How could I have known of the goodnes of God, of all He had planned and promised? How can I ever doubt what is to come, why do I push aside His voice when the fruit of following it is basking in such astounding beauty? I am so not worthy of this beautiful, beautiful life.