Hands and house

Hands and house

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Georgia's Heart...the Whole story.


Thank you all SO much for your prayers, comments and support. They are a lifeline. It is so surreal to be back in a place of desperate need again. Many of you prayed along with us during Georgia's open heart surgery.

How are we doing? Well, we are being buoyed by God, trying to focus on His promises and on filling the days with fun for the kids which helps to keep the worries at bay.

But it doesn't always work. Today at church I wept and wept, so much so that a sweet friend brought me kleenex in the middle of the service! We are surrounded by so many people who love us and are praying, it honestly feels like a great "cloud of witnesses", you all are helping us put one foot in front of the other. How in the world can I thank you enough?

Until right now, I have not had the courage to write out all that is on the plate with Georgia. Somehow seeing it written on the screen makes it so much more real. I would much rather get lost in her giggle than face it all. But, I think I need to know that I have done everything possible as her Mama to help her. She deserves that, deserves to have the people praying for her to know how to pray.

So, a few weeks ago I started noticing these funny times when Georgia would be drenched in sweat, pale and breathing funny. I would stay right with her and talk to her asking if she had any owies. She would respond back 'no' but she was arching her back and looking really uncomfortable. The pit in my stomach told me something was wrong but logically I told myself everything was fine. She had just had a clean bill of health at the Cardiologist in July, they said they didn't expect anything to come up at all with her heart and that we could come back in a year.

But Last Tuesday she had another one, the worst so far and I just knew something was off. So I called the Cardiologist thinking they would talk me down and tell me it was nothing, that I was a good Mom for worrying but to stop now.

But instead, I got a call right back. The nurse said that they were worried about arrythmias and that they were sending out an event monitor to us right away so that we could track what happens in her heart when she has one of these 'episodes'. I hung up and then a million questions rushed in. I had been told about arrythmias before and in kids with her repaired heart condition I had heard that they can be, this is the part that I hate to write, they can be fatal.
The next day I talked to the Cardiologist because it just seemed like this had to be wrong. But she confirmed that what they think is going on is probaby an arrythmia. There are two kinds and the kind most often seen (but very rarely in young children) with children with TOF can cause sudden death. She said that there was no way to know, no test they could run to find out for sure, they had to catch her heart during one of these spells. SO hospitalizing her would not work because you just cannot hospitalize a child indefinitely waiting for a spell to hit (she only has them about once a week). There are a few other remote possibilities, a different arrythmia or possibly seizures. She said that to be honest, it is in the back of her mind that this (the bad arrythmia) is what is going on.

So we wait...all weekend for the danged monitor (which should be here tomorrow). Then we get trained on this thing and wait for a spell to happen. It feels a little like Abraham and Issac to me. I am praying that she will have a spell that could cost her very life in order to figure out how to save it. I feel like Abraham stacking up the wood and  praying that God makes a different way.

So, we just honestly wait/ life looks absolutely normal on the outside. Georgia runs around, usually naked because our little free spirit loves strip her clothes off, dancing and singing not a care in the world. And I have my CPR cheat sheet in my pocket just in case.

We will have this monitor for a month. We have no idea how long it will be before we catch one of these spells or what will happen next. We are talking to the EMTs in our town and the town where we shop and the kids go to school so they are aware and ready if they get a call.

So today in church, as the music started to play, the tears came. Big ugly buckets of them. But God has also been so faithful. He has brought so many friends along who listen, ones who spent the whole day with us at the zoo just being families together. At the zoo bathroom of all places I looked up and recognized a woman I had never met. She has a heart baby from China too and I had emailed and prayed for her little girl when she went through surgery. It was such a gift just to hug her and to feel like I had known her for years. To hug a friend who knows what it means to deperately pray for your child's very heart.

Then today, I was really unsure about leaving Georgia in Sunday school. Should she just be with us? What if soemthign happened. As I explained this to the Children's Minstry Coordinator she explained, "This is so perfect...the volunteer for Georgia's Sunday school class just happens to be an ER nurse today!" Can you believe it? Out of all of the Sundays...I knew that Georgia was in the best hands possible and I could go to the service.

And in the service...big tears everywhere, what song do they begin to play? Mighty to Save. This is the song that the Lord has used all throughout our wait for Georgia. When we knew she was getting sick and was still in China, this is the song that carried us through. I cannot count the Sundays that I stood singing this song and begging God to keep her alive so that we could go and get her. Then, as the plane landed in Nanning China on the day we would get Georgia...the song that came on my headphones...Mighty to Save. The night in Seattle when I drove and drove weeping that I could not hand my child over to a surgeon to open her heart,  Mighty to Save came on the radio. The very morning of surgery as I drove into the hospital parking lot...again on the radio Mighty to Save. I have only heard it once at church since then and then here it was this morning!

I have no doubt that God is carrying us. It does not mean that I am not terrified, that I do not wish that I could wake up and have this all be in the past, that I am not begging every second for my little girl's life. I does mean that we are not alone. That I trust His character. That I do not have to be strong, or wise or put together during this time. That it is ok to be severly shaken and to have eyes that are sore and raw from tears. That honestly, whatever happens He has given us such a huge gift in our sweet Georgia Mei and we have her today. I do not know what tomorrow brings but I do know that God will never leave us. He promises to carry my weak frail so very afraid faith because there is no way to do it alone.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
 

24 comments:

Ginny said...

Thanks for sharing Shannon. We have been out of town so I didn't know that you guys were walking through all of this. We are praying with you and lifting up sweet Georgia.

Girly Girl Mommy said...

Thank you for sharing how we can specifically pray for Georgia's heart and for you! What a sweet reminder that you can rest in His hands He gave you with that song and and ER nurse in her class this morning.
~Kelly

Elizabeth Mills said...

Thanks for sharing this journey, your prayer requests, and fears.

Jamin and I are in a similar place for very different reasons than yours, but I relate to the buckets of tears, fears to your core, having to live for today and focus that the worst has not happened today, but could tomorrow.

I understand. I am praying for you, your family and for Georgia's heart to give the information needed to help...but without hurting her.

Love to you!
Elizabeth

Valerie and Jeff said...

Hugs to you Shannon and your little streaker :-)
Can her eyes be any deeper or browner or her cheeks any more smooshable?

Praying for you guys! Thank you so much for calling out for support and prayer. I pray for an answer, safety and healing!

Marci said...

I'm not sure what to write other than I am sorry, this is so big and so hard. I am praying. God is with you in this and even more!
Hugs
Marci

Serving the King said...

Tears are streaming for you as I read that. Gracious. Please know our heads will be bowed lifting up your sweet girl in prayer!

Nancy said...

Sharron-
Thank you so much for the update to the distant "bloggie friends." Rest assured that the prayers started for you and they WILL continue. Lay an extra kiss on that sweet girl of yours for all us.
Nancy

Sharon Ankerich said...

I just read this to Scott as we are amazed that you have the mind to put this to blog... I am scared for you too and I am praying continuously! Thank you for letting us know how and what to pray!!! I am thankful God is close and holding you tight~ holding precious Georgia!!! You are in my heart and prayers always.
Blessings to your family!!!

Rachel said...

Girlie... you titled this "Georgia's Heart", but I can see clearly that God is working in YOUR heart.

When we ask Him to break our hearts with the things that break His - He gives us a more profound love for others. And a gift in the precious people He brings into our lives.

No doubt you and Georgia were gifts to eachother from a Father who loves you both immeasurably.

And we join with you in praying for a miraculous touch on Georgia's heart - a full and complete healing and a strong and perfect heart. So thankful for the million little (and BIG) ways that God is watching and caring for your family.

Praying - and God Bless,
Rachel

Chandra said...

There are no words except that my heart and my prayers are with your whole family as you walk through this with your special Georgia.

With love,
Chandra

Cara said...

We caught just a quick glimpse of you guys at church and weren't able to stay and chat, but I kept thinking of you and sending up prayers :)

Cedar said...

Thank you for sharing. We will keep praying. (A mother's tears for her child are never ugly.)

Jill Funkhouser said...

Praying for you all over here and lifting you up. That just brought tears to my eyes! Georgia is so sweet and beautiful! Blessigns and love!
Jill

Tara Anderson said...

Shannon, I am SO glad that you had your cry at church yesterday! You needed to come to that point, and I'm thankful that you were able to...surrounded by the loving arms of a church family that is willing to surround you and provide your most basic needs. As I said in the email I sent you, I wish God had chosen another way to grow you and shape you but I see Him doing a BIG work in you...even just in the words on the screen. And I know it goes so much deeper than that. I know it's a hard faith journey that you are on right now, but these little God sightings amaze me. An ER nurse in Georgia's Sunday school class?!?! That's got God's fingerprints ALL over it!!! Through hardships we see Him in new and mighty ways. Only HE can make our stress and our fears into a beautiful display of His glory...and that in itself is reason enough to trust Him. Hang on tight to your Abba Father!

Rachel said...

I am praying that when you receive the monitor that Georgia has an episode that doesn't take life, but one that reveals life. One that pinpoints exactly what is going on and that the doctors have the wisdom & revelation to help her.

What a sweet, precious family you have - keeping you all in my prayers!

Naomi said...

Dear Shannon,

It seems to me that there is more of Georgia's story that needs to be written before you can take pen to paper!

Sweet friend, my heart goes out to you all and I will certainly be praying as you walk through another trying time.

Naomi

7th heaven: 4Chinadolls 1gentleboy said...

My heart is breaking for you and for your family to have to endure this "unknown"...BUT..he is MIGHTY to SAVE and HE will carry your BURDEN..Many, Many, Many prays for sweet Georgia..

Jen said...

Shannon~

I was so sorry to read your comment on my blog. I just read through, and cannot even imagine what you, and your family are going through.

Please know that I am keeping you SO close in thought and prayer right now.

Take care the best you can.

Love,

Jen

P.S. I wanted to thank you so very much for adding Aviana to your prayer page. I truly appreciate it!

Denise said...

Praying for complete healing of you little girl. And that God would strengthen her mommy's heart through all of this.

Wife of the Pres. said...

thinking of you all a lot these days. God is so good to remind all of us to pray on your behalf. please email anytime or call. i will send you my cell if you need it. i think i gave it to you before but if not … let me know.

at times i am reminded how fragile S's and little J's and G's hearts are … i'm sorry the reminder is all too fresh and raw right now for you. i am here ANYTIME day or night if you need to talk or for someone to listen.

{{{hugs}}} L

Annette W. said...

Our daughter also had a heart condition...more controlled, but not fully.

Praying for your peace from our Father in heaven!

Anonymous said...

Oh Shannon I am so sorry you and your family are having to go through this again. So upsetting, so stressful! You have tremendous faith that is so inspiring. I am praying for her little heart right now!

Jen said...

I'm not sure how I found your blog, but we have a Nanning girl, too. I will be praying for your sweet G!!

Jen said...

I'm not sure how I found your blog, but somehow I did, and I just wanted to say that I'm praying for your sweet G. We have a Nanning girl, too.

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