The other day Ravenna asked to see some pictures. As I looked at these pictures so many emotions flooded my heart. I realized that I have not written about the biggest miracle He has done in our life. Just a few weeks before I had met Georgia for the first time in China. She was bright eyed and oh so weak. Time after time I would hold her and watch as she slowly turned blue and struggled to breathe...then prayed and prayed until she turned pink again. We had been told that we would have to risk her life to save it, that she may not survive the flight to the US. In the week at the hospital so far we had watched her vitals crash and people flying into the room over and over again. Now, the day before her open heart surgery we sat and heard each and every professional in charge of different parts of her surgery describe what would happen to her tender body and just how many rsiks there were. They had never done this surgery on a child this old, her heart had been working the other way for so long that it might really struggle to work in a new way. She was in such a volatile place medically that just the medicine that would put her to sleep could send her heart into an "unrecoverable" tailspin. The surgery itself had risks and they said the recovery would be "A white knuckle ride, just as dangerous as the surgery itself." We wept and prayed, begged really that our priceless daughter would make it through all of these hurdles. I remember kissing her little blue fingers and toes over and over again as she slept.
The morning of the surgery made me feel like I wanted to take Georgia and just run, run away anywhere but there, walk any hallway but the one to surgery. If only I could lay down on that surgery bed instead, I would have done it in a second. But hand her off we did and the time of waiting was like none I had ever experienced before. I have never felt such emptiness as when we got the call that her heart had been stopped and she was now on the heart and lung bypass machine. Nothing was right knowing that her heart was not beating. Through it all, I also have never felt the presence of the Lord the same....it was as if we were being carried, completely wrapped up by the Holy Spirit not left alone at all. Again and again I heard the Lord whisper, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Oh and how He did!!!!!! I will never, ever forget walking in to Georgia's ICU room. The first thing I noticed was this:
beautiful bubble gum pink toes!
The next few days were a bit of a rollercoaster but not once did the crash cart have to come in and the nurses kept saying, "She is sailing through, we cannot believe it!"
If she could not see me she was frantic but just being close or holding her hand would calm her down.
I had worried so much about such a huge surgery so soon agfter adoption would cause major damage to bonding....my sweet girl was what the staff described as "severly frantic" on the higest levels of medication until the day that they could place her in my arms....then she slept peacefully for hours.
We walked a road that I never would have thought we could walk and honestly, we did not walk it...we were carried by the very best hands of all.
He really can do ANYTHING even when it seems to everyone that it cannot be done.
In my Memorial Box???? That caregiver name tag that I wore during Georgia's hospital stay!
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
To find out more about Memorial Boxes check out Linny's blog here
5 comments:
Your post brought back so many memories of twelve years ago when our youngest had emergency open heart surgery. Those roller coaster emotions. I wanted to take Connor far away and hold on to him tightly - not let him go though those steel doors. Tracing his perfectly smooth chest one last time as the nurse appeared at our side, we let him go.
Isn't it awesome to see first hand how God works out the details, of holding her tiny malfunctioning heart in His hand... Trust.
Thank you for writing such a powerful post. A post that, as my active 12 yr. old sits beside me at the table doing school, I am reminded of a great gift that God gave us that day - our son's beating heart and the start to healing and bonding.
PS. We kept our name tags as we in his hospital scrapbook.
Sending a kiss to those bubble gum pink toes!
i think you should put all this into a book.
Oh Shannon I always cry when I read your posts! I love her tiny toes! I am obsessed with baby toes myself, I stare at them and kiss them and hold them whenever possible!
Beautiful post! What an AWESOME God we serve!!!
Ah thanks. We are paperchasing a little girl with CHD. I fully expect open heart surgery when we get her here, and thinking on it too much can indeed cause anxiety.
This helps. Thanks.
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