....like when Georgia's heart monitor came in mail mail and the mail-woman held up her little scanner thing (we had to sign for the package) and instead of holding out the box to be scanned, I held out my wrist! Or the fact that I had a whole list of things to get at the store and forgot about half of it (but got the chocolate!)...it has been a bit crazy!
I'm sure it couldn't have anything to do with these wacky sisters!
Or this charming guy???
But what I want to write about tonight is not about the hard stuff but what God is teaching me, once again in the midst of it. Mainly for my own sake because before this is all over I just may need reminding of my own name even!
We are continuing to walk through tons of stuff, grieve tons of stuff and generally try to just do the next thing we need to do and God keeps whispering to me, reminding me...that He is the one who carries us. When I start to think about Georgia's heart stuff and calculate in my head in the ramifications of her heart struggling again...or worry about the results of Ravenna's blood test, or so many other things...He reminds me that there is a gift in the midst of this storm...
and here it is....
When you have to lean so hard,
When life is at a place where you cannot walk yourself,
When you feel absolutely spent and needy,
When you have to be carried...
You get to feel the One carrying you.
Like a sleepy child who snuggles up to their parent's shoulder on the way to bed...
You realize just how strong the one who carries you is...
and how deeply you are loved...
and just how much that One who carries loves to be so close...
right there holding you in the shelter of His wings.
There is warmth and safety,
If you let yourself be held.
You can go out and try to battle the storm on your own, rain in your face, wind screaming in your ear.
Or let go,
step only when told to,
look only at the One holding you,
Not at the raging storm,
not at every 'what if'.
When you let yourself be held it is so easy to see the One who is holding you.
and it is so much easier to trust, to see and to hear that Voice that loves so deeply.
Today at church something happened that just blows my mind. We are part of the prayer team and it was our Sundya to be available to pray with anyone wanting or needing it. So we sat in our little chairs and sang along with the music quietly praying...and then a dear friend walked up and sat down.
You know what she said, "I feel like I am supposed to pray for you guys, can I do that?" So there we sat, the ones 'designated' to pray for others, being prayed for so beautifully.
She headed back to her seat and the music continued. A few minutes later, from a different part of the church, came another woman that we dearly love. She came and sat down with us and you know what she said? " Can I pray for you guys?" and once again, we bowed our heads and she prayed for us and our family, in such specific ways that she could have never known.
It bring tears now...just how much God is carrying us. It was like He said, "Hey, I want you to know that I see and know and care about what you are walking through." and then "...just in case you weren't quite sure that was me....let me show you again!"
Yes, it is hard right now...yes, we are oh so weary but we are learning and we are leaning back and snuggling in and being held.
How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.