Having a Ball this Fall....

This fall...

 

has been such a season of contrasts.

 

Deep grief,

 

juxtaposed with incredible joy...

 

it still baffles me that those two things can coincide together,

 

but they do.

 

I keep finding myself laughing until my sides hurt,

 

beaming with pride,

 

all while my heart aches with weariness.

 

We have had some great opportunities to tuck away as a family and just be together...

 

let me tell you this family of mine is some mighty powerful medicine!

 

Our kids just seem to be blooming.

 

They have become such crazy characters and yet they have such a deep heart for each other and for the Lord...

 

we are starting to get glimpses of the character they hold in their hearts,

 

and I just stand amazed that I get to be their Mama.

 

So, indulge this proud Mama as I share far more pictures than anyone may care to see from our little camping trips lately :)

 

The pictures may not be that spectacular but let me tell you, the memories sure are!

 

 

I know this picture is a bit blurry but for some reason I just love it! We recently bought Doug's parent's 1973 trailer from them and are having a blast playing house at campgrounds!

 

 

This is Miss Georgia's 'nest' (otherwise known as the bathtub!) where she loves to sleep...or play Mama bird-baby bird :)

I just love Ravenna's expression here! All of a sudden she is just filled with confidence and maturity, has a hilarious sense of humor and incredible compassion. I find her helping Doug and I out without us even asking all the time.

This would be 'Parker the Giant'. He on the other hand has become a total card, also full of this incredible confidence as he crack jokes, does his 'sweet moves' or stops and cares for his little sister if she is hurt. He will come up and place his hand on her shoulder and gently say" Oh Georgia, are you ok?"

 

He also hopped in the car after school yesterday and with a giant grin announced,

 

"Mama I have a girlfriend! Sophia is my girlfriend! I have a crush on her and when I realized she has a crush on me I asked her out on a date....I am in LOVE!"

 

and let me just tell you Miss Sophia has been his buddy for 3 years and is a little firecracker. She has been asking him to marry her for 2 years now!

 Apparently she asked him again yesterday and he told her,

 

" If I can still find you when we are grown up I'll marry you."

 

When I asked what he liked about her he said,

 

"She's my friend and her dad has lots of electronics!"

 

...at least he has his priorities straight????

Lots of snuggly reading time which I love...they are devouring books!

 

...and making up new fashion statements???

 

Miss Georgia seems to finally be turning a corner...she had us pretty worried for the first 2 weeks after surgery. She definitely was far WORSE after surgery than before. She was gray with dark purple circles under her eyes and would play for about 20 minutes and then just wilt into tears because she was so tired.

We are still concerned that she may have another underlying medical condition and will meet with her Cardiologist later this week to see if we need to be engaging more specialist.

 

But man, she is just sweet and sassy as can be.

 

She is super into rhyming right now.

 

We introduced the kids to "The Princess Bride" while camping and now she asks us to say,

 

"Stop it I mean it!"

 

a million times a day so she can say,

 

"Anybody want a peanut?"

Parker is doing great with his vision aids in the classroom and thinks he is quite the rockstar because he gets to use them.

 

We also go back this week to the low vision clinic to see how he is doing.

 

We went and played at a park in Bend, OR and the leaves were just beautiful!

We would scoop them and throw them up into the air and the wind would swirl them all around.

 

The girls threw 'confetti' for Parker to scooter through for over an hour!

 

It was fun to have time to take a series of photos to try to capture the personality of each kid...

 

For some reason Ravenna's did not transfer onto the computer so I'm working on it...

 

...but this guy had a ball with the process!

He currently wants to be an actor or newscaster...heaven help us!

 

"for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10



A Portrait of Healing

Sometimes God just astounds me...

 

We had a really rough spell with Ravenna this weekend,

 

some attachment stuff and raw pain coming up.

 

Watching her hiding and crying,

 

arms reaching out for me then legs kicking if I got too close...

 

oh how I ache sometimes to be able to step into her heart and take that pain for her.

 

The episode came full circle with hugs about 90 minutes later...

 

but it always leaves my heart wondering, hurting and wishing there was something else we could be doing, another way for her to get how deeply we love her.

 

And it leaves my raw heart begging God,

 

because He can go where my arms cannot reach, He can see and heal those deep hurting places...

 

His promises can whisper in even where I cannot be heard.

 

Last night,

 

I was making dinner and Ravenna was standing at the counter chattering away,

 

when all of a sudden she said,

 

"I love my family. Our family is the best family in the whole world."

 

When I asked her why she said,

 

"Because we love each other so much."

 

Oh my heart....

 

I walked around the counter and just held her wiping back the tears.

 

God can do what seems impossible...

 

In fact He does it all the time.

3 Amazing Years!!!!!

I woke up this morning to a bright eyed little girl crawling up in my bed for snuggles....

I cannot think of a better way to celebrate than lots of hugs and cuddles.

Holding her close,

celebrating 3 years of being in each others arms.

This little girlie that only a miracle saved,

she is a such a reminder to soak up everyday...

God blessed us far more than we could ever deserve when He kept her safe and moved mountains to get us to her in time!

Oh Georgia Mei..words honestly fail for what a gift you are to us...

So I'll borrow yours that you shower us with tons of times a day,

"I love you past the moon, past everything...except for God!"

The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

So not what we thought...in a good way!

OH my goodness,

I am exhausted but want to write to thank each of you that prayed for us today!

Today was beyond miraculous.

Parker went through about an hour of tests,

and right before they normally do dialating drops the tech said that the doctor wanted to look at Parker's eyes first.

The doctor looked a Parker's eyes for about a minute, turned to us and said, "Yep, I'm sure I've got a diagnosis."

We both just stared at him for a minute...stunned.

Then he said, "He has Albinism and it is not progressive."

Then he left the room so the tech could get the dialating started...

Doug and I stared at each other in disbelief,

then held each other and wept for joy.

I think I am still stunned.

Our little guy has a mild form of Albinism.

The vision loss he has is permanent but it should not progress any farther!

He will have some genetic testing soon to figure out what kind of albinism he has and we will start meeting with a dermatologist periodically....

we will have to be very good about sunscreen, dark glasses and hats...

but the retinal specialist?

Wants to see him back in two years!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen

Ephesians 3:20-21

Oh the broken places....

     Sometimes it happens without me really noticing what is going on...the grasping, the need, the desperate need to be reminded that she is loved. My sweet child, who has known brokeness, abandoment and pain clinging to my leg, trying to climb up me, on top of me when my attention is on something or someone else. Raising her voice, making a scene, grabbing at things...I used to think it was just impulsiveness, a childlike need to be the center, but then I began to see something else.

    At the end of the day, falling into bed sometimes so weary from being needed literally almost every second of the day, I began to ask God to show me her heart, to help me to see. So many things have began to slowly rise into focus. Her need comes when there is change, a little seed of uncertanity brings about a huge rush of grasping from my child. It is like their is some sort of fear and desperation there....a grabbing because the ground all of a sudden does not feel so predictable and stable. And the Lord began to whisper, "speak trust to the fear..."

    So I tried it as the grasping began again. Getting down on one knee, my face to hers, "Honey, I love you, do you trust me to get you what you need?"... "Sweetie, you are so special to me, do you trust that I will get what is best for you?"... "My precious girl, you mean the world to me, do you trust that I will be right there?"

     ... and I never guessed what would happen next. At first it was a simple looking into my eyes and nodding before I got her what she needed. Then, it was a gentle lean, her body next to mine and I would wrap my arms around her just holding her close for a second. Again, an uninitiated hug growing to arms woven tightly around me. What I never could have expected was the healing, like the sweet warm air of Spring breathing into a place where darkness had reigned. Now, many times, she leaps into my arms as soon as I say, "Do you trust me?" as well as some vulnerable tears as she lays her head on my chest.

      ...and it goes on, this sweetness and contentment growing in my little girl, I see it as she plays with her sister speaking gently showing her the way. I see it as she does little things for me without asking, spending a moment or two by herself in my room to decorate my pillows with her stuffed animals that she loves, sweeping the floor, getting things for her siblings. Her little heart beginning to pour out contented little bits of love.

     As I sat yesterday with the Lord, worried and stirred up over my fears and needs straining against waiting for things that I desperately want to see Him do, grasping at all the wrong things to bring me comfort...He began to whisper, "I love you, do you trust me?"... "You are precious to me, do you trust that I have your best in mind?"... "I am crazy about you, do you trust that I will bring the stirrings of your to fruition for what is best for you at the right time?"

     ...and slowly, I began to look up, to take a little peek at what He was saying. He loves me, do I trust Him? He has never let me down, do I trust Him to come through now? I am precious to Him, do I trust that He directs my steps? He loves me, do I trust Him with the broken places in my own heart that cry out so?

       And there I sat, tears falling as I poured out my heart to the One who loves me so....

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

 in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

My days have passed, my plans are shattered.

Yet the desires of my heart

 turn night into day;

in the face of the darkness light is near.

Job 17:11-12

 

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 62:5

The Little Firsts...

   Nine months ago almost to the day, I held my little barefoot girl for the first time in China...she was so weak and scared and grieving, but still had a mind of her own. The first time I set her down on the floor with some toys I slipped some precious little shoes on her feet. I had held these shoes so many times as I dreamed of her sweet feet knowing that someday my little girl would wear them. So I slipped them on, holding back tears and...my sweet little girl took one look at them, screamed, ripped them off her feet and threw them across the room! Underneath that frail body was a spirit of fire! For the rest of the trip to China we wrestled back and forth over shoes ( bet that match will look different the teens years!),  I would slip them on and she would throw them off. She didn't even like to be near my shoes! She even freaked out if we were near shoes in a store...I was sure that she would walk into her first job interview barefoot someday!
      Then, we got home from the whirlwind hospital, open heart surgery bit and she had a new found best friend...one blue dress up shoe. She wore it for weeks, just one lonely blue shoe. You could hear her as she learned to walk pad, clomp, pad, clomp around the house. Her relationship with footwear slowly warmed until, while in Mexico, her favorite passtime was shuffling around the campsite in whatever shoes she could find!
 Today we went to get Georgia new shoes. Turns out spending the first two years of your life in a crib full time does not do too much for ankle muscle tone! Anyhow, up until this point Georgia has had one main pair of shoes that we got her early on but truly has prefered to raid the bin of Ravenna's old cast-aways. She has spent her days wobbling around typically in mismatched dress-up shoes on the wrong feet.
    So today was her big day! We walked in the store and she stared in amazement at the plethora surrounding her. When the lady brought out a pair of bright pink sandals nestled in their box, tissue and all Georgia's eye gots HUGE and her little chin dropped in awe. I helped her put them on and showed her the mirror and she literally did a dance (when Georgia dances she gets her whole body into it, arms flailing, feet flying, head waving)...then looked wide-eyed up at me and said in a voice of solemn reverance, "shoes."
     Even though it has been nine months, even though I am dead tired many days, I still catch my breath at all of the 'firsts' with my priceless girl. When adopting a two year old I worried that I would have missed so many of those firsts (smile, laugh, steps) and it still breaks my heart that I did...but oh the magic of the ones still to come. They are delicious beyond belief.
      Later in the day we were leaving the grocery store. She was sitting in the little seat thing in the cart. Can I just say that I love pushing her in a shopping cart? We are eye-to-eye and can nuzzle noses, she grabs my cheeks and pulls me in for more...then she tries to climb out and screams at the top of her very loud lungs "Out! Out! Out!" if I make her stay. I seriously go from gooey lovey Mama to sweaty high blood pressure mama in a matter of seconds! Anyhow...she was happily, nose-nuzzling in the cart as we left the store and the wind blew her hair. She giggled with delight, pointed to her head and said, "Wind! Hair!" tossing her head around in the breeze....and my breath caught again at the sweet child who once was a shaven head orphan never allowed to leave her crib, never ever taken out side...as she relished her beautiful locks blowing in the breeze.
   I am pondering anew tonight this verse:

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

and how many of those delights are right at our fingertips...

Tears...

   I had the most beautiful moment with Georgia today. I was sitting on the couch and honestly, I was crying over something. I thought that Georgia was busy in the other room playing but felt a gentle tap-tap on my knee. I looked down and Georgia was standing there with her big brown eyes looking up at me. She had an unbelievably gentle look on her face and climbed up on the couch and in to my lap. She snuggled up with me for a minute and then looked again into my face.

   As she looked up, I saw that tears streamed down her cheeks. She pointed to her tears and pointed to mine and then said, "sad." Then I really began to cry at the beauty of my little girl's heart ( I'm a crier...a weeper at times!). She touched my cheeks and then touched hers and just kept saying, "sad."
   At first I panicked and felt like I should stop and act like everything was ok and honestly I could not help but smile and cheer up with that little face and those little pigtails in front of me. We then moved on to playing trains and building tunnels (or I should say I built tunnels and Georgia scream YEAH and knocked them down!) As we have gone through the day Georgia has had her share of tears (usually while in the 'time-out' chair for whacking her brother over the head with her sippy cup or pinching her sister)...each time she has pointed to them and said , "sad."

Yep, sometimes there are tears at our house!

   Now, I realize what a gift that tender heart is. I have prayed so many times for our kids to deeply know and understand the compassion of Christ...that it would saturate their very souls. The only way for them to understand compassion is for them to understand sadness and pain. So many times I want to shield them and yet in moments like today I get a glimpse of the true beauty in their hearts and what they can bear and hold and I cannot wait to see all that God has in store for their precious hearts. It also makes me wonder how much I miss of God's heart when I shy away from things that are uncomfortable. Am I willing to go to those places to see, feel and know God's heart better? I don't want to miss out on even an ounce of Him so I pray that He will guide me even where I may not want to go....

Mighty to Save

    Happy Easter!!!!!! How do I even begin to write about what this day means to me? I want to write about something that happened today.
    On Easter Sunday our church meets at the local middle school so that both services can be together. It is fun and crazy as the kids stay in the service. During the worship time I took turns holding Ravenna and Parker in my arms while Doug held Georgia. During "Mighty to Save" I had Ravenna snuggled up with me as we sang. Some of you will remember that God used this song over and over again as we waited for Georgia andas we walked through open heart surgery with Georgia. Again and again this song would pop out of nowhere reminding me that "Savior, he can move the mountains...my God is mighty to save, mighty to save."
     Ravenna is a deeply affection child...but not a kisser. Well, not a "kiss on the lips" kisser. She will kiss my cheek, my hand, and my forehead but anything closer seems to be too much for her. We haven't talked about it, I have just let it be where it is at, but I have wondered what is behind it. I have missed that close "smoochiness" from her.
      So, during the song, she snuggled right up to me with her head on my shoulder as I sang, tears of thankfulness for our three kids rolling down my cheeks. Then, as this huge crowd sang "Mighty to Save", Ravenna took my face in her hands and pressed hers right up against mine. She just held it there, noses next to each other, her hands in my hair. After awhile she pulled back, looked at me and "eskimo kissed" me nose-to-nose. Pulling away again, she looked at me with those cheery brown eyes, suddenly serious and placing a hand on each cheek slowly kissed my nose and then my lips.
    I never want to forget that moment...such a priceless and intimate gift from my precious girl on Easter morning.
    Now, tonight, as the house is quiet and the day is coming to a close....I am thinking about how intimate Jesus wants to be with us, to hold us close, face-to-face...

Ravenna's heart

   

     I am sitting here tonight humbled once again by the beautiful heart of my Ravenna girl. Before we even adopted her, God told me that her life would be marked by the compassion of Christ and the deep Joy of the Lord. At times I am so humbled to be her Mama as she is truly the one who is teaching me. At every meal this little girl prays for every hurting person she can think of, including whole nations. She prays with power and conviction...asks the Holy Spirit in specific ways how to help. When she accepted Christ it was in the context of a conversation  about the battle between good and evil...she more than anything wanted to give her life to serving Jesus...you know what her next question was though? "Mama...what about Satan? Isn't there some way that he can accept Jesus too?"
     I get these glimpses every once in awhile of the powerful woman of faith that she will be (that she already is honestly) and then she will twirl away as her 5 year old ballerina self to go and torment her brother.  It takes my breath away...

Yes, she can be fiesty...

And a goofball :)

      We had one of those moments this week. She received birthday money from her Aunt & Uncle. On the way home I was telling her that we could go to the fancy toy store in town and she could out something special. Once home, she really wanted her piggy bank and wanted me to open it up. I figured that she just wanted to put the check in it...she went into her room and came out a few minutes later with the contents of her piggy bank. She started making piles of change on the kitchen counter. I asked her what she was doing. She said that she was dividing her money up because she wanted to give it to Haiti, Chile, Turkey and Greece (countries hit by earthquakes recently) and to Maria's Big House of Hope in China (http://www.showhope.org/OrphanCare/MariasBigHouseofHope.aspx). I asked her how much she wanted to give and she looked up at me with her bright brown eyes and said, " All of it Mama, my birthday money too! I am going to save one dollar to go to the Dollar Store and get something special for myself."
     Then she looked at her piles of change thoughtfully and broke out into a little dance around the kitchen. Gleefully she said, "Mama, I know this isn't much but God can make it bigger just like the fish and the bread! He can make it HUGE!" and then she was off to play babies with Georgia....
    Can I just say what an honor it is to parent this little girl?

Apologies

     A few Sundays ago started off in a whopping way for our little Miss Ravenna...she was grumpy and by the time we were in the car to church had a list of apologies for each member of the family that she needed to make...and then some. For the whole 30 minute ride to church, while Parker (AKA "Spuz" right now) yelled out things like, "Mama LOOK!!! That tree is even bigger than my eyeball!" and Georgia tried to touch her nose with her tongue, our sweet little girl deliberated. She looked out the window sober faced and quiet. We had explained how much we loved her and  that we knew she was grumpy but also that she had hurt people in the family and needed to make it right. She knows that the Bible talks about keeping short accounts and that our hearts feel heavy when we have sinned against someone and against God. That she was taking it to heart was written all over her face.
    During that ride Doug I prayed and worried, had we set the bar too high? She could not get a treat after church unless she apologized. Were we being too tough (she had never had 6 apologies to make at once before)? Were we harming her in some way? Her sad little face sure could be convincing of it. We held our breath and waited it out.
     It was so incredibly tempting to give in, to change the rules, lessen the consequences. So tempting to do whatever it would take to take away that sad little face. But, is parenting about making our kids happy? I read recently from another mom that her main goal is not to make her kids happy but holy...to make them kids of character. I want my kids to know how important it is to make things right between others and the Lord, not to just act poorly and then let it slip like water under the bridge waiting a bit for everyone to forget and be happy.  I know that it is painful to apologize to fix things but I also know the fruit on the other side...but would Ravenna?
     As we hit the exit from the freeway for church, we reminded Ravenna again that we were only a few minutes away and now was the time. Our little girl reached out her hand to me and , as we held hands she proceeded to look each member of the family in the eye.Tearfully she said was sorry and exactly what she was sorry for. We each forgave her and as we parked at church I held her, tears of pride falling down my own cheeks.
    We got inside and did all of the pottying, nametags etc that come with tucking three kids in to Sunday school. As I got ready to say good bye to Ravenna, she snuggled up really close to me and said, "I love you so much Mama...tell me what you learn in big church". She has been in big church with us before and knows what it is about but this is the first time she had asked about it. I told her I wasn't sure, that we are studying the book of Matthew. She said , "I know Mattthew!" and rattled off her memory verses and then said, "Mama, do you promise that you will tell me every little thing that you learn about Jesus?"
      I spent a good portion of church thinking about my little girl and what had happened that morning. I had been so worried that asking her to do so much, so many apologies would bring shame upon her shoulders. I was SO tempted to ease her burden for her... and yet, I realized that when God calls us to make things right with Himself and with others, it is not to bring shame, but to bring healing. That healing and freedom then bring a hunger...to know Him more. The one who made a way for our sins to be truly forgiven asks us to turn around, repent and walk the other way...not for shame of the sins we have committed but for the LOVE and HEALING that He pours out through it.

Delight in Daddy

"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
                                                             Matthew 18:4


      Yesterday was Doug's birthday and for his present each of our kids painted him a canvas. They toiled hard at their work and each was so proud, I have never seen them concentrate so much. Soon Parker and Georgia were satisfied with their creations and went off to play. I wandered off to do laundry and awhile later came back to check on things. Ravenna was delightfully still painting. She looked up at me and said, "Mama, God made me an artist and I am going to make my best creation for my Daddy."

Parker's painting

      She worked and worked...three hours and layer upon layer of paint went into this piece of art. She wanted to skip dinner, let the other kids play with her favorite toys...all because she was so wrapped up in making her best for her Daddy in whom she delights. She stayed up late and at a little after 5 am the next morning (Doug's birthday), I awoke to a little person whispering in my ear, "I just have to do one more thing for Daddy." We again got out the paints and with a dramatic flourish, she added two little blue lines on the top of the painting, and then went back to her room to curl up in bed and sleep some more.

Georgia's picture (sorry it's sideways)

      I have been thinking and thinking about Ravenna and this gift. It was with such delight and love that she poured herself into the making and giving. How often do I take the time, the joy, the delight to give in such a way for my Daddy King?
     I wish you could have been there to see Doug open his gifts. Each child was so proud as he "oooed" and "ahhed" over their creations. Ravenna grabbed her present and waited, wanting to be last. Then she snuggled up on Doug's lap, wiggling in anticipation as he unveiled her masterpiece. You could just see her soaking up the joy as Doug took in her painting, nothing else mattered at that moment for her. It was just she and her Daddy delighting in each other. For her, it was just pure joy to serve her Daddy who she loved. I found myself late last night "lounging" a bit longer in the delight of my Father and fell asleep just wanting more than anything to give and serve with that joy.

Ravenna's masterpiece (a picture of our family)!!

How do I begin to say "Thank You?"

      This community is amazing....
    How in the world do I begin to tell you all how much it means that you have visited, emailed, left messages and passed this information on. Somehow the information has reached almost 1,500 people!!! I sincerely hope that it helps save the lives of other little ones. It meant so much to me to hear from so many, I was REALLY shaken by the experience yesterday and your words were so comforting...really just what I needed!
    The more I read your emails and comments, the more I realize how differently yesterday could have turned out. Georgia is doing well. She had nightmares last night so I slept with her. She would cry out "Stuck! Stuck!" in her sleep. Today her neck is really sore and she keeps pointing to it and saying "Owie...off!" I just keep holding her close and thanking God that she is ok.
     The blogging and adoptive community just continues to amaze me. I love that something that can be used for such darkness is so amazingly used to bring people together! I really am excited to get to know all of my new "friends" who have visited. It may take me awhile but I cannot wait to visit your sites and see what God is up to in your lives too!!!!!
     Even though yesterday was really intense...life continues on. Parker got new glasses today and promptly told me, "I am not four anymore...I am Sixty-Five!!!!!!". His grin was wider than his glasses even! Then I caught Ravenna with nothing on but one of Georgia's cloth diapers making me surprise artwork on babywipes...which stained every surface they came in contact with. I love my crazy kids who bring such sunshine into my life!
   Hugs and deep, deep thanks to you all!
Shannon

If you have kids... PLEASE READ!!!!

   Ok..so we had a scare today. One of those "it could never happen to us" things.....please, please read this so that it won't happen to your kids.
    Georgia has become fascinated with clothes and wants to be picked up to peruse her closet each morning to decide what to wear (heaven help us in the teen years!). Today she picked out this sweet sweater that was mine when I was a child. It is bright pink and has drawstrings with adorable big pompoms on them. She was so proud toddling around the playground in her beautiful sweater!
     Today she finally got up the nerve to go down the slide, on my lap, but down the slide. She was having so much fun sliding and then cheering and clapping for herself at the bottom of her big plunge. Well, one of those times, we were halfway down and she began to scream...and for some reason we stopped sliding. I looked up and one of those pompoms was lodged in a crack at the top of the slide. I tried and tried to push up with my feet but my shoes just slid out from under me. I looked at Georgia and her face was starting to turn blue and I screamed for help. Another mom ran over and hoisted Georgia up while a kid un-wedged the pompom. I just held Georgia and cried.
   She is ok...she has a pretty good cut on her neck but one fighter spirit in her. Ten minutes after the "incident" she wanted to go down again...although she held tight onto her sweater (which I had turned wrong side out at that point).
   So...I guess I am writing this to say...cut those drawstrings off! It is not worth it...get rid of them!
 I think a glass of wine is in order tonight....