In that leaning place again...just being real.

 So, life has been so much fun lately. Sunshine and excited kids, packing boxes everywhere as we get ready for a move that we really feel like God has brought about. So many giggles, so much excitement and also, a few things that I am struggling with.
    We got a call on Friday that the lab ran the wrong tests again for Ravenna's bloodwork. This is the second time. It means blood draw #5 on Friday :( My heart is breaking for her. I know it is just a blood draw and that so many kids go through so much more but, for my tender hearted girl these blood draws are completely traumatic. During the last one she had to have 2 nurses hold her down and afterwards I had to carry her sobbing from the hospital while she screamed, "No more blood draws Mama, promise me no more." and I hated that I could not promise her that. We are going to a Children's hospital in the city that is used to drawing and testing for coagulation stuff so hopefully it will all go well.
    Then today Miss Georgia really scared me. We were at preschool and out playing in the sunshine with her classmates. They did a race across a big grassy field and back again. Halfway back she stopped in her tracks, doubled over and grabbed her chest. I ran over to her and she looked up at me, face pale with big worried eyes and said, "My chest feels funny."
   I scooped her up and another teacher prayed over her. We walked back to the playground and after a few minutes she wanted to get down and play some more. I watched her as she ran around for a minute or so and then she did the very same thing. ...then it happened again inside when the kids were dancing to music. All of a sudden the teacher said loudly, "Georgia, what is wrong?" Everyone stopped and she was standing in the middle of her friends, doubled over and clasping her chest.
    I try so hard to keep my mind fixed on the logical answers, on the things that the Cardiologist has said before but there is just nothing easy about watching my girls struggle. I found myself wiping tear after tear as I drove waiting ot hear back fro the Cardiologist (still waiting...). The truth is sometimes it just is scary, sometimes their are things that are really hard without answers. I know in my head that this will all probably work out just fine and that we are being carried through. Tonight I just want to take my babes and hold them and let my arms be enough to protect them.
     This Bible verse came home from school with Ravenna today and I have it sitting by my bed now...

I know what it is to be in need,

and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of

being content in any and every situation,

 whether well fed or hungry,

whether living in plenty or in want.

I can do everything through him

who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:12-13



  **** It is now Thursday morning and guess what my littlest yogurt covered one has decided to tote around and have me read over and over again?

Yep. That's Ravenna's card with the Philippians verse one it! She must have had me read it to her 20 times already :) Just what I needed!