Hands and house

Hands and house

Monday, June 27, 2011

Georgia's Earned Herself a New "Sheen" :(

Yep, that would be superpower, superhero watches that he drew all over himself that give him more "sweet moves"

So...life is never dull around here...and I find that much of my heart is filled up with 'background' prayers for our kid's health that sometimes come screeching to the forefront leaving me very raw and broken before God. I'm not exactly sure what to say about all of it. I used to try to "figure it all out" but am learning that sometimes the very best thing is to stay close to God, pouring out that very raw stuff in my heart and us letting myself 'be' in His presence...learning that it takes time to heal.
    So, when I have moments of quiet I find myself soaking in this:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
 Matthew 11:28-30

Playing 'Doctor Ravenna" today...

It doesn't mean that there are going to be answers all the time or that things are instantly going to get easier...it means that God loves me even in the raw places. Coming to Him and pouring out my tears, my fear, my pain, my heart so heavy it doesn't have words...I come away known. Oh what a balm that is, to know that all of that stuff that weighs on my heart, whether it is logical or not, when I pour it out, I am not alone in it. In the deepest parts of me, I am not alone. And the One who knows me not only created me but each and every one of those that I love and want to cling to. And He promises never to leave.

That is how I find strength for tomorrow. Not in logically figuring it out, not in stuffing it, not in my own pathetic bootstraps....but in being real and raw and utterly broken before them One who loves me best.

   Georgia had been funky episode free for a few months now, Ravenna was nosebleed free for about that time as well and the biggest things on our agenda were what to do with our beautiful sunny days. Then wham, in two days Ravenna started having nosebleeds and Georgia started grabbing my hand and pulling it to her chest because of "Funny Boom Booms" that I could feel right through her chest. She has had some every day since and we have another heart monitor on it's way in the mail.

Taking care of her sister...they chose to do this all on their own not long after one of her spells

    None of it has been huge stuff, but it brings back the fact that our kids are just fragile. Really, life is so fragile whether their are health conditions involved or not. And for the past few days that has just weighed heavy on my heart. Their is an incredibly painful part of that reality, I do not control the days of those that I love. I do not get to choose how long I have them or even what they have to walk through while they are here. I want to. I so desperately want to.

    But here's the flip side. There is a gift hidden in the midst of bloodraws and heart monitors, one that doesn't get much press...we have no doubt that our kids are a gift. Every day is such a reminder to soak them up, to really, deeply love them and take the time to truly be loved in return. The listen to those giggles, watch those expressions, those things that are truly uniquely just them and to do everything to etch them into ymy very soul....and to know how beyond deeply blessed I am to be a Mama of crazy kids who make a messy house, interrupt every conversation, spill every snack, leave sticky stuff on all of my clothing and bags under my eyes.

     I just don't want to miss even one minute of this gift that is the life God has given me, not one little bit.


Naomi said...

You are always an inspiration Shannon!! I love how you bring it all into the right perspective!

Praying for you sweet friend and many hugs for those precious gifts from God!

Carla said...

Beautiful words. Praying for your little one to get back to only good normal boom booms...and for mommas heart too ;)

Kia said...

Exactly what I needed to read. Thank you.

Valerie and Jeff said...

Oh Shannon! Thanks for the reminder to soak in ALL the moments, even those that involve spilled things, interrupting conversations and messy houses! (Have you been peeking in my windows?) I was SO hopeful that you were past the medical stuff--Ug. Praying for answers, but so thankful that you are seeing through that and find peace in God's presence.
That is SO key--and so overlooked too often by me.
We have some friends who have adopted from China last year and have their little girl in for heart surgery right now--I think of you so often when I read their posts! In awe of the road you have walked (and continue to walk as I read their journey.) Their blog is http://kenandkeri.blogspot.com/ if you wanna visit them. We've known them since before we were married! And our husbands work at the same place--I'm always hopeful this is one of those red threads that will be key in turning Jeff's heart ;-)
Praying that the new 'sheen will bring good answers.

Miller Moments said...

Well said Shannon-every day with our children is a gift!

I am so sorry that your munchkins are getting hit with so many troubles. I wish you could come over today and we could sit and drink coffee and watch our little ones play. Hopefully soon!

I'll try and call you today. We are going to the beach this morning, but if I can I'll call this afternoon.

Renee said...

Shannon, your honest and faith-full words are so powerful. I am so sorry your sweet precious children are struggling once again. We are all wrapping them and you in prayer. As usual, your words touch me deep inside and teach this old soul so much. Yes, even at age 63 each moment is precious and each loved one cherished. Gentle hugs, Renee


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