Oh There You Are...

Oh how life can change in an instant!

A marker of before and after....never to be the same again.

There I was at the pool, jeans hiked up to my knees, feet in the water 'watching' Georgia in the kiddie pool...

A cacophony of splashes and shouts ricocheted off the walls...

liquid joy bespeckled with the grins of dripping children.

There I was, biding my time, soaking it in...

flipping through my phone.

Often I see them,

little faces of children waiting sent out with pleas for a family.

Each time my heart whispers to the Lord,

"Lord, I'm willing...bless them."

Each time, I send them on their way...

 praying for the arms of a family to surround them.

But this time....

everything stopped.

There you were staring back at me,

a part of my heart that I instantly knew I had been missing...

and I just couldn't look away.

Little boy,

eyes so wide.

Somehow everything about you was familiar,

the curve of your chin,

your button nose...

it was as if my soul said,

"Oh there you are! I've been waiting for you!"

and I just couldn't look away.

My soul whispered that everything had changed.

My fear said,

"Oh Lord, I'm willing but I can't face Doug...I just know he will say 'no' and I can't take it"

There, in the midst of the splashes, whistles and squeals...

a quiet voice spoke,

"I can do the impossible."

"Yes Lord, I know you can, but I am too weak...you will have to do the impossible without me."

weakness seeping in,

yet your face filling the very crevices of my soul.

Later that night...

There we sat,

wood lined restaurant,

all alone,

date night.

Talking, laughing and reveling in each other,

so thankful.

Halfway through the meal,

Doug turned to me and said,

"what has God been putting on your heart lately?"

I almost fell out of my chair!

I took a deep breath,

 pulled out the picture that I just couldn't let go...

and he said,

"Strangely, I'm very open to that!"

and we began to dream, and pray....

and watch every door open.

6 days later,

foreheads pressed together in prayer,

we said yes.

Yes to the adventure,

yes to the chaos,

yes to the unknown,

yes to the grief,

yes to the joy,

yes to our son being and orphan no more...